Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
