I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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