I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
