He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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