Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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