I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
