Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
