Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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