benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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