She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
