He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
