No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
