This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
