My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
