guys are only as good as the porn they watch
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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