is your mom at the bar?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
