This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
