I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
