Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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