just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
