member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
