Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
