sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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