8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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