Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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