I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
