Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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