Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize