btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
