you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
