a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
