so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
