smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
