I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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