fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize