Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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