dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
