I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
