I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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