His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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