At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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