New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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