best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he was CRYING into my vagina
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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