im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
