I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
