there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
