thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
