Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
