Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
