the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
