I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
