Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
