This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
