question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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