Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
