When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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