I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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