how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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