i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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