were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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