i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
