I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
