brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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