I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
