He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
