i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
