1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
