on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
