...so i touched it.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
