I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
