Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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