i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
