besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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