I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
